Company’s goal is to help transform clients’ lives

Will Smith isn’t the only date doctor teaching clients how to navigate the dating scene. Often referred to as the “real life Hitch,” New Social Systems of Nashua takes students from a place of insecurity and shows them how to generate authentic confidence in themselves.

“Self-confidence is that scarlet thread that runs through our lives,” said Keith Mayson, one of the founders. “People love to talk about it, but there is no practical advice about how to build it. If you can obtain it, it transforms every aspect of your life.”

Rather than simply getting their clients to land a date, New Social Systems works on developing their clients’ personalities and approach to relationships.

“We actually care,” Mayson said. “Our goal is to help people transform their lives in a way that ‘who they want to be’ and ‘who they become’ are in fact the same person.”

As someone who struggled with self-confidence in his early years, Mayson can relate well with those he mentors. His parents divorced when he was young and Mason never had the opportunity to meet his father.

As a young boy, he longed for a father figure and often wondered why relationships never seemed to work. With no place to go, he took solace in food which lead to years of overeating and weight fluctuations.

“It took a major toll on my own self esteem,” Mayson said. “I went through a really dark period where I didn’t know what to do or who I was as a person.”

In college, Mayson studied psychology and began to take a deeper look at the complex dynamic between men and women.

He couldn’t figure out why a multi-billion dollar industry dedicated to relationships and romance eventually leads 51 percent of couples to divorce. He began taking courses on relationship management and came to understand that a person’s dating life is only a symptom of a much greater problem.

“It starts with self-confidence,” Mayson said. “Once I put my value on things I had internally, my life changed dramatically. I lost 70 pounds. I turned my life completely around. I decided to take my life back.”

Mayson now shares these principals with his students. In 2008, Mayson and two others launched New Social Systems to provide clients across the United States with the tools necessary to create life-long relationships and lasting confidence.

The company’s core value is that authentic self-confidence is the first step toward a healthy relationship and, therefore, the team puts a lot of effort into building that value in their students.

“I ask students to name three things that are awesome about (them) that no one can take away,” said Jimmy McDonald, one of the founders.

“It can’t be looks or money. It has to be things that really come from the inside. I use that as a building block or a foundation. This is what you really want to build off of.”

From there, the team works on personality development. They teach students to embrace who they are as an individual rather than submit to a stereotype, or to what society says they should become.

The team believes that personality is created and that clients should focus on becoming who they want to be. It means projecting individual uniqueness, but in a fun and interesting way.

In terms of dating skills, the team teaches practical conversational skills, but also how to generate confidence within as opposed to the success or failure within the dating scene. It’s not about fixing the dating life, Jimmy said. The coaches show students how to spark an interest, but also how to get over the fear (otherwise referred to as “false evidence that appears real,” Mayson said) of approaching the opposite sex.

“If a guy is stressed and nervous, he’s going to be his nervous self,” said Nick Notas, the third founder. “We find out their interests and qualities and how to express that in a fun and interesting way.”

One of the company’s first students was a young, professional man from China. He moved to the United States just six years prior, but had little luck in dating.

Though he had established himself professionally, he desperately desired a wife and family to share his success with.

Through personal coaching and mentoring, he was able to overcome his shyness and learn how to relax. Just last month, he married.

“It’s one of the greatest successes,” Mayson said. “He has found great success. I hope that they can buck the trend and not be a statistic of divorce. We want to create lasting relationships.”

New Social Systems makes every effort to maintain friendships with each of their students.

In fact, all three founders have been invited to participate in their client’s traditional wedding ceremony in China in 2012.